


Playing with fire

by tylerisjoshsfriend



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Slow Burn, Smut, Unrequited Love, he changes tho, tyler is a bit of a dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-18 14:17:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12389778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tylerisjoshsfriend/pseuds/tylerisjoshsfriend
Summary: Josh wishes he could have lived forever in the frantic moment of soft moans and troubled breathing. He wishes he could have stopped time the second he had Tyler under him quivering from pleasure. Yet that doesn’t happen because to his dismay Tyler couldn't keep his damn mouth shut.“If we’re doing this, we need rules” Tyler had said nonchalantly.“What do you mean?” Josh had asked confused.“You know what I mean, fuck buddies, friends with benefits whatever you wanna call it, we need rules” Tyler had blurted out, like it’s nothing.Josh on the other hand felt like a part of him died right there.





	1. prologue

Josh thinks that if there’s such a thing as a destiny, It is an ass and It must hate him. After all what other explanation can there be for how unlucky he is. Yeah, The Destiny it’s a sick bastard. If not why would he give him everything and then take it all away as fast as it came.

Josh wishes he could have lived forever in the frantic moment of soft moans and troubled breathing. He wishes he could have stopped time the second he had Tyler under him quivering from pleasure. To be able to get himself in some sort of loop where all it happens over and over again, are their mouths locked together and Tyler’s nails scratching his back.  To see Tyler lose it a hundred and one more times. Yet that doesn’t happen and Josh barely had had time to understand what had happened before it all got destroyed with those eight simple words.

“If we’re doing this, we need rules” Tyler had said nonchalantly that day, a hand resting in his shirtless stomach. Josh had looked at him confused at that time, the after sex bliss making it hard to process what was going on.

“What do you mean?” he had asked, while glancing at him.

He couldn’t stop thinking how pretty tyler looked, especially when the sun coming from the window hitted him that way. Oh how happy and naive he was at that moment. Josh now wishes he had never asked Tyler shit.

“You know what I mean, fuck buddies, friends with benefits whatever you wanna call it, we need rules” Tyler had blurted out, like it’s nothing.

Josh on the other hand felt like a part of him died right there. He had muttered a small “oh, yeah” while letting Tyler’s words sink in. He didn’t want anything serious, of course he didn’t. Josh had felt  so stupid right there, for hoping that they would be a thing. He did not let it show though and swallowed all his feelings.

Destiny it’s a sick bastard.  

“Ok i’ll start: One, no PDA, obviously.” Tyler had said and proceeded “Two, don’t tell anyone”

He then had looked at him for approval, Josh had mindlessly nodded.

“Three, no sleeping over after it” Tyler had continued.“Four, we won’t let this change anything, we’ll still be best friends no matter what. Also no feelings or strings attached. Deal?”  He had heard him finish.

Josh could feel Tyler’s brown eyes focused on him waiting for an answer. He had wished that somehow he could make himself invisible. He needed more time to talk himself out of this. Because he obviously knew he shouldn’t accept it. Yet there was a part of him, a tempting one, that kept telling him that this is better than being strictly platonic and Josh, well,  he was weak.

“Deal” he had found himself saying.

That day Josh had learned something new about himself. He was a masochist, a stupid and madly in love masochist.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It’s after he leaves Tyler’s apartment that he realizes what he had done. Everything finally sinks in while he’s looking at the damn written sheet in his hand for the tenth time. He wants more than anything to tear it to pieces yet he can’t gather the strength to do so. Josh starts to feel like the piece of paper is mocking him the more he stares at it. And although he can’t shred the paper he is set and promises himself that he will break every single rule.

Tyler handwriting is all over the sheet, destroying his hope and dreams with every sentence.  Tyler had insisted in making it official as if he knew Josh was already breaking the rules or that he will do so and wanted to make sure to make him guilty for it. He also went ahead and added more of them, as if what he had initially asked for wasn’t hard enough. Josh wants to kick himself for signing that contract from hell. So did Ashley when she found out.

Josh was mad, he felt used and so he did what he normally does when he’s heartbroken. Run to the arms of her best friend. Initially all he wanted was to watch a movie and play video games. Maybe to go out and get drunk. But then she asks what is wrong and he’s pissed. He’s clenching his fists, he eyes are shining with tears of frustration, he’s furious. So he ends up showing her the list.  

“Josh are you dumb?” She had screamed at him  when he explained it to her. She was grabbing her black hair with a strong grip thing that she only does when she is angry, really angry.

Though Josh was already regretting it he couldn’t stop feeling sort of victorious after giving  the paper to her. _There goes rule number two,_ he had thought bitterly but proudly. As if he was showing who’s boss to that stupid sheet.

“You can say so” he  had said throwing himself to her bed. He had covered his face with his hands. “I don’t know what to do”

“You have to quit this shit, that’s what you have to do. The hell were you thinking?” She had ranted. “This is so straightforward too, you have no chances with him and what do you do? Fucking venture into the lion’s den. I raised you better than this.”

“Thanks for the support” He had said jokingly yet there was no fun in his voice. Ashley was right, he had no chances.

He had glanced at her quickly, trying to avoid her scrutiny but also wanting to know how pissed she was with him. Spoiler alert, she was pretty pissed. Josh tried to prepare himself to be reproached for a long time.

“You can’t get over him if you’re sleeping with him. You know that. Why do you do this to yourself?” He felt as if Ashley had sited beside him yet he was too scared to check.

He shrugged and then turned to lie on his stomach while he hid his face in Ashley’s blankets.  He wanted to die. “I guess i was thinking with my penis.” His voice sounded muffled yet he was sure ashley got it cause she, soon enough, bursted out laughing.

“I’m sure ass hell you were doing just that” She said once she had calmed down. Ashley moved closer to him on the bed, and started playing with his hair trying to sooth his friend. “Ok, hear me out, we’ll figure this out.” He heard her saying after a while. “Do you want a way out though?” she asked and Josh knew better than to lie to her.

“Not really” he answered honestly. “Sex with him is good.” She slapped him softly on the head and scolded him

“You’re so stupid sometimes. Hope you know you’re playing with fire” she said giving up.

Josh smiled sadly at her and reached for her hand to squeeze it. Hoping that she’ll get that he was well aware what he was getting himself into.

His mind had kept repeating the nine new rules over and over ever since he left Tyler’s apartment. He knows them all by heart by now. So yeah, he does know pretty well that he’s in fact playing with fire.

  1. No PDA.
  2. DON’T TELL ANYONE.
  3. No sleeping over after sex.
  4. Nothing changes.
  5. No kisses unless we’re having sex.
  6. Never openly say we’re screwing each other unless we’re alone
  7. We turned each other sometimes you top sometimes i do
  8. We won’t be exclusive.
  9. NO STRINGS ATTACHED



 

* * *

 

 

So this is my first time posting here, i'm a bit nervous lol.  This is a cliche but believe it or not a real story, i'm always succeding with the lads as you can see. I promise that chapters will be longer and a lot more will happen in them but it's 3:48 am and i just wanted to post this before i regret it and erase it all. Also before i shut up I'd like to clarify that English is my second language I hope my grammar hasn't failed me too much. Thanks for reading, if you did <3 


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are descriptions of sex and alcohol abused in this. Nothing too hardcore but I decided to warn you because better to be safe than sorry.

 

Josh can feel the cold countertop digging on his bared back. A small inconvenience quickly to be forgotten. Tyler is so close that he is able to sense his warm and minty breath teasing him, yet he’s too far away. Way too far away for his liking. He does not move closer though. Instead he lowers himself to reach Tyler’s neck. He gives himself a second to breath him in, his cologne imprinting in his memories. He has to tell himself to not be weak to avoid doing something stupid. Josh then starts leaving a trail of kisses in Tyler’s sensitive skin, then nibbles his neck. Tyler’s labored breath is like music to his ears. 

It’s Tyler’s time to be in control, he is aware of that, yet breaking rule number seven sounds so tempting. Especially now that he has his  _ friend  _ all worked up because of him. But when Josh is ready to make them switch places, Tyler yanked his head from his neck. His grip on Josh’s hair is firm and menacing yet not harmful. Josh smiles at him innocently but tyler doesn’t let go and now he’s forcing him up, closer. They mouth finally connect. Tyler was the one to take the first step. Josh has to suppress a smile.

If you ask Josh how he would describe Tyler’s kisses in four words. Slow, demanding, passionate and breath-taking would be without doubt his straight-away answer. They’re an unholy experience. He would be lying if he said that he hasn’t thought that Tyler is some sort of fallen angel whose only purpose it’s to make him delightfully miserable. He’s almost convinced, no human can be that enticing.

Josh let’s his hands wander. They start making their way down from Tyler’s neck through his chest and then under his shirt. Up they go until they find Tyler’s nipples. Josh is a teaser, he loves seeing his partners lose it under his hands and now it’s not an exception. He starts slow, softly playing with the sensitive skin. He twists and pinches them. Enjoying the way his breath hitches every time or how now Tyler is humping him looking for friction. 

Josh’s hands get bored after awhile and start moving again caressing Tyler’s soft skin. Soon enough they are under his sweatpants, groping his dick through his underwear. Tyler’s straight out moaning now. A hand next to josh, on the countertop, as support. The other one on Josh’s shoulder. His eyes are closed shut, his lips red, puffy and half open. It was almost pornographic and Josh is sort of thankful that Tyler’s nail are scratching his shoulder because that assures him he’s not dreaming this.  

Josh starts lowering his sweatpants until Tyler takes over and gets rid of them. Shortly after his boxers are gone too and they’re kissing again. Tyler is letting himself go now. He hasn’t tried once to regain dominance. ‘ _ Small victories win the war _ ’ Josh thinks proudly. 

In the end, they switch places, leaving Tyler now trapped in between Josh and the countertop. However Tyler breaks the kiss and smirk at him before falling to his knees.

“Why did you have to wear skinny jeans to a booty call” Tyler complains while impatiently watches Josh struggling to get them off. 

“Shut up” He answers back once he got the damn fabric off.

“Gladly” Tyler says freeing  Josh’s dick. 

If the other image was pornographic this one was straight out from his 3 am fantasies. Tyler’s lips are stretched out around his cock. He’s looking directly at him, a hand in his own dick. He doesn’t know how he managed to not cum right there but then he feels him swirl his tongue, and seconds after deep throat him. It’s all too much and just like that he’s gone. He feels Tyler swallowing.

God, he loves him. 

The awkward silence that follows leaves Josh perplexed until he realizes the reason of it. 

He said it out loud.

Josh is tense, about to freak out, when he hears Tyler saying jokingly. “Love you too bud. I’d love you more if you helped me with this tho, you know” he motions down with his head and Josh’s doesn’t need to be told twice.

Josh is lucky that Tyler hasn’t mentioned the “i love you” incident more than to joke about his ‘impressive skills’ giving head. He’s fortunate that they used to say ‘I love you’ to each other all the time before the fuck buddy thing happened. Fortunately, all got forgotten quickly after it, and they ended up watching shitty conspiracy shows like every other friday. But he had been so close. It hasn’t been a whole week since they started this and he has already  fucked up. 

 

It’s dark outside. Josh doesn’t know how or why he’s here. Honestly he barely knows where it’s here. Last thing he remembers clearly it’s leaving Tyler’s and going to Ashley’s apartment. He recalls being mad but even that it’s foggy now and tequila. He remembers lots of tequila.

“You need to stop” Josh hears Ashley’s concerned voice through the low music. He can swear it sounded as she’s in another room yet he can see her next to him. Now there is two of her. ‘ _ Weird’,  _ he thinks.

“I’m fine, this is fine” he says slurring his words and emptying his glass. 

He feels funny. Like everything is moving slower than how it usually does. For instance, Ashley is grabbing his arm yet it takes him awhile to realize that. Her hand is soft and warm, has he ever noticed that? He sees her lips move yet he doesn’t understand what she is saying. 

He’s only hearing random words.

“A damn lightweight.” he catches and apparently it’s not funny because when Josh starts laughing hysterically she scolds.“Stay here alright? I’m gonna get water” She repeats to him severely. Josh knows he has to answer so he nods not fully getting what’s going on.  

Soon enough Ashley’s spot is occupied by someone who’s not her. Josh’s eyes manage to focus on seductive brown eyes. An image of Tyler’s flashes on his head and his heart flutters. But this eyes are not right, they don’t glisten the same way his do. When he looks up he finds blonde hair instead of brunette, that’s also wrong.

The guy is hot and he’s mad at Tyler anyway so he gives him his best smile. 

The guy, Nate he later on learned, is clearly flirting and Josh can’t stop feeling as if he’s cheating. He doesn’t say no when he invites him a drink though. He doesn’t tell him to stop when he starts dragging him to the dance floor. Nor does he push him away when he’s kissing him in the bathroom, pressing him into the cold tiles of the wall.  Moreover, he definitely does not ask Nate to get away when the guy blows him. Though in his lightheaded mind he, not even once, sees blonde hair and almost-right-but-not-quite brown eyes. He sees Tyler, he sees him everywhere.

When Ashley finally finds him Josh is sitting in the floor next to the bathroom door. She’s rightfully mad with a water bottle in her hand for his intoxicated friend. However she doesn’t scream at him, she says nothing and just helps him up. He has a sticky stain from the dirty floor on his jeans, his shirt is undone, and he stinks. 

Josh tries to tell her he’s sorry, but his mouth is dry and he’s way too tired to even talk. He can tell she’s not happy, although she’s making an effort to hide it. He knows by the way her lips are pursed, by her knitted eyebrows, by the way she’s oddly quiet. 

Ashley opens the bottle for him and makes him take small sips. Once she feels it’s enough she starts dragging him out of the hot and crowded club. Josh is thankful.    

At some point, while being brought home, Josh finally breaks. He’s sobbing loudly and crying messily. He tries to calm down but over and over all he can see it’s Tyler. Tyler telling him to leave quickly; he realizing Tyler is having someone over after him; a beautiful blonde girl knocking on his door just as he is leaving; Tyler hugging her. It never ends, it never stops. All he can do it’s let the burning tears stream down his cheeks hoping for the numbness that will follow. Throughout his breakdown Ashley is quiet but she puts her left hand on his leg and squeeze softly with her eyes fixed on the road. 

Josh let’s himself be dragged out of the car and into her friend’s apartment. 

When he wakes up it’s two in the afternoon, he’s in his underwear in Ashley’s sleeper sofa. His head is killing him and he has to run to the bathroom to avoid puking all over Ashley’s living room. Soon enough her friend is bringing him a tablet of aspirins and water. 

“You owe me a big one” She jokingly says once Josh is sort of collected and semi functional.

“I honestly don’t deserve you” He admits with his mouth full of warm pancakes Ashley did just for him.

He manages to get a genuine smile from her and everything falls back to normal. For a few hours he kind of forgets Tyler and his stupid game. For a few hours he doesn’t remember the girl or Nate. For a few hour he’s okay, he plays mario kart and eat greasy pizza and though he’s still hangover he feels good. It all comes back quickly though when at 1 am his phone rings.

_ “Movie at my place? ;)” _

Josh, as we already established, is weak. 

_ “Sure, on my way” _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not long and i know i said that would change but apparently i only write/post when it's 3 am and all i want to do is sleep. Hope you enjoy this mess nonetheless.


	3. chapter two

Before their relationship become so hastily intricate, Josh and Tyler had the most easy-going friendship he’d ever had sicen Ashley. They’ve met back in freshman year in college. In a party where no one knew no one. If Josh closes his eyes and focuses he can still feel the chilly wind and the smell of freshly wet cesped. He can still recall Tyler sitting alone in the back porch of some dude’s house.  

That night Josh was tipsy and extroverted. He’s glad that’s how it went because it gave him the confidence to talk to the pretty lonely guy. Josh and Tyler connected immediately.

He learned that night so many things about him. How he was here thanks to a basketball scholarship, but basketball stopped being fun ages ago. How he wanted to play music but his parents don’t want him to throw his future away. He discovered that Tyler has a weird sense humour  and learned how to enjoy it. He noticed how when their talk became too dark, too deep, he will snapped the rubber band in his wrist and quickly change the subject.

To say that he was intrigued by Tyler from day one is a misunderstanding and the years that went away did not change that. What started just because Josh thought the guy was cute and was confident enough to try to hit on him hurriedly become an amazing friendship.

However, maybe it had never been simple. Josh was enticed with his friend from day one and Tyler never made it easy.

They quickly become inseparable and everybody knew that they came in a combo. You don’t have Tyler without Josh and vice versa. Tyler was also a touchy-feely person. He was constantly touching Josh. A thing he quickly become used to but it was a pain in the ass at first. Especially because his heart couldn’t stop fluttering every single time.

Josh learned that Tyler was a jealous friend. He didn’t like when Josh would go out and made out with random strangers or had dates. Always saying he deserves better. Sometimes he’d  came out with the craziest things. Like the time he suggested they should tattoo each other’s names. Who does that. Josh secretly thought it’d be hot to see his name permanently printed on his friend’s skin.  

It’s not like he complained because all those things made him feel like maybe there was a chance. That doesn’t mean that he’d enjoyed being constantly torn between telling him he’s into him or to leave things be.

In the end, as always, it’s Tyler who makes the decision.

The night that changed it all happened three years after they’ve met. Tyler and Josh were hanging out. He doesn’t remember what was the fake-ass reasoning Tyler gave him to make him strip down to his underwear. Whatever it was, it was compelling. Tyler was good with words. They were both watching tv on Tyler’s living room, eating takeaway and laughing at  the shitty horror movie on the screen.  

“I think guys are hot” Tyler blurted out, out of nowhere and josh almost choke on his soda.

Until that moment Josh was eighty percent sure Tyler was as straight as it comes. He’s never mentioned any interest, nor has he seen him date anyone who wasn’t a girl. There was the super religious backstory too. Josh was in disbelief.

“You do?” Josh asked now looking at his friend. Tyler was watching him directly too, inquisitively.

“Yeah, I want to try it. You know, sex with a guy” He said. “Would you?”

If Josh was confused before that now he thinks he’s going insane. Maybe he hitted his head in his way here and now he’s hallucinating. Even that makes more sense that what Josh thinks Tyler is implying.

“Would i what? you know i’ve been with guys. I mean, I’m gay remember?” Josh laugh nervously

Tyler scoots closer, looking down to the sofa. His cheeks are red now, yet he looks so collected in comparison with Josh, who is having a mild nervous breakdown.

“That’s not what i meant. Would you try it with me?” He asks now. “I mean you’re hot and i trust you. Also i know you’re attracted to me, remember that truth or dare back at Jimmy’s? So i was thinking…” Tyler started rambling but Josh was lost.

He was lost in the idea of having him under him, in making him feel good, in what this would mean. Soon enough he finds himself kissing Tyler for the first time. Feeling Tyler’s soft lips and the way his stubble scratched him slightly. It’s short because he lets his fear wins however Tyler doesn’t let him go away as easily. He’s on top of him shortly after, kissing him passionately. Tyler is all Josh can feel, Tyler’s lips, Tyler’s hands, Tyler’s smell. It’s almost intoxicating.

Things changed after that night, after Tyler imposed his rules. Even though number four was that everything between them will stay the same way as before. Because they never hang out in their underwear anymore, they never hug each others or touch each others unless it’s for sex. Josh and Tyler do almost nothing together anymore.

Josh almost wishes that night had never happened.

Then he sees him. His crooked smile plastered in his face, his dancing brown eyes full of excitement and Josh falls over and over. He’s an addict. An addict of his voice, of his warmth, of him. And, as any other addict, he can’t stop coming back for more.

 

Surprisingly when Josh shows up at Tyler’s apartment it’s not for sex. Tyler apparently genuinely wanted to watch movies, because in the whole hour he’s been here he hasn’t made a single move. To be honest Tyler hasn’t even shown many signs that he knows he’s there, sitting next to him. Well, besides opening him and telling him to sit there. There’s a movie playing though but neither of them is watching it. Instead Tyler is on his phone while Josh is too interesting on who  he is texting with to pay attention.  

The girl’s name is Jenna and her name not even once stopped showing up on Tyler’s phone since he arrived. Tyler hasn’t said much about her, but Josh can tell by the way his eyes seem to shine every time the phone rings, he likes her. He doesn’t know the girl but he already despises her. He can sense the burning feeling of pure hatred growing by the minute. He wants her out of the picture.

Tyler keeps smiling down to the phone. Josh has the irrational desire of grabbing the device and throwing it into the wall. He shivers when another thought pops up. It comes out of nowhere, unannounced, and powerful. Overtaking Josh’s mind, almost blinding him and leaving him breathless and shaky.

He wants to hurt Tyler.

He wants him to suffer the way he has.  

He notices his own hands are clenched into a fist so strongly that his knuckles are white. Though he tries to unclench them, to relax, it’s like he can’t. He’s furious, heartbroken and scared. He feels as if he’s losing control.

Everything is suddenly way too bright, way too loud. He’s struggling to breath. As if there’s not enough air in this room for him, as if he’s drowning on his own thoughts. He feels stuck tortured by the idea of hurting the friend he’s loved for so long. He wants to leave, to run away from this monster that looks like him but it’s not, yet he feels like he all of the sudden is incapable of moving. Just as if he’s attached to his spot on the sofa.

His mind is playing tricks on him now. It must be, right? Or is everything closing down on him?. The room looks smaller now that it was seconds before. Like the walls have started moving, trapping him. Maybe this was his punishment, to be stuck for the eternity petrified of his own mind.  

He hears Tyler’s voice. It’s too loud but at the same time it sounds muffled, hard to focus on.

“Josh, count with me please just count with me” He’s able to distinguish. However counting feels like an impossible task right now. All of the sudden he feels like he can’t remember what comes after five, or maybe he doesn’t care enough.

A part of Tyler wants to shake him, make him realize he’s safe, he wants to hold his hand. He does not touch him though, he knows better.

“Josh, it’s me okay, you’re safe, you’re with me, it’ll be over soon. Count, Josh count.” He repeats instead, trying to keep his voice calm and friendly.

It starts slowly. First he’s able to feel the tears on his cheeks, then he can focus on the soft fabric of the sofa, and like that he starts to calm down. Everything goes back to normal. The walls are on their initial place and Josh now recalls that six comes after five.

The thought is gone, suppressed in that place of his brain where he stores everything he never wants to remember. Instead of fear, Josh feels the familiar numbness and exhaustion that comes after a panic attack. Now he can see Tyler’s worried face. He finds out with disgust that a small part of him it’s happy that the phone and Jenna have been forgotten.

Tyler feels the urge to hug him tight and kiss his tears away. Maybe in other times, other contexts he would have. Instead he stroke his arms and dries his tears with his hand.

He knows well enough that when Josh gets like this he gets burned out. So he’s set in making Josh feel better. He lets him choose a movie, one that actually both of them will watch. He leaves Josh there, picking, only to prepare him hot chocolate and bring him some cookies. Which they devour in the first minutes of the movie. After a while he hears his friend yawning so Tyler allows him to rest his head in his legs, while he plays with his soft curly hair. It all feels so domestic and so right that just for a second Tyler thought that he could get used to this too. He stopped that thought right away before the idea of a life with Josh spreads.

"Thanks" Josh says softly, half asleep, and Tyler’s heart does a funny thing but he refuses to even acknowledge it.

Tyler feels Josh drifting from consciousness and watches him relax, forgetting about the movie, the jealousy, the fears. Josh dreams that night of a better time. A better time full of gigs and arenas, screaming fans and pretty places, cuddles on buses and tattoos with each other names.

 

* * *

  

  1. No PDA.
  2. ~~DON’T TELL ANYONE~~.
  3. No sleeping over after sex.
  4. ~~Nothing changes.~~
  5. No kisses unless we’re having sex.
  6. Never openly say we’re screwing each other unless we’re alone
  7. We turned each other sometimes you top sometimes i do
  8. We won’t be exclusive.
  9. NO STRINGS ATTACHED.



  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all i want to say thank you to everybody who liked/commented on this. Idk i wish i knew how to show how grateful i am for that because i feel like a lame ass thank you kinda doesn't cover it yet idk what else to say.  
> Also i love Jenna, she's my queen and i don't mean to disrespect her in anyway lol but well you'll see.  
> That said hope you enjoyed <3


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